


Was It All Worth It? (Yes, It Was A Worthwhile Experience)

by Anonymous



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: 1970s, Bad Days, Banter, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Issues, Gen, Homophobic Language, I Don't Even Know, Insecure Freddie Mercury, Insecurity, Kind of fluffy, Light Angst, Male Friendship, Maybe - Freeform, Nail Polish, One Shot Collection, Period-Typical Homophobia, Pre-Queen, Protective Roger Taylor (Queen), Protectiveness, Queen Is Not Famous Yet, Self Confidence Issues, Smile Era, Sorry Not Sorry, Support, Swearing, Tim Staffell is a Good Friend, pre-fame
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-19
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2019-09-22 15:23:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17062277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: This is a collection of short one shots that show little moments "shared" by the band and explores a bit the dynamics between them. A mix of movie and real life events, mostly. Each chapter is unrelated and will have all the relevant information in the notes.Chapter IV: Some problems cannot be solved, but a quiet night in and the company and support of someone you love can be enough sometimes.





	1. Soul Brother || Brian & Freddie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The band just lost another bass player, his father insists pursuing a musical career is a mistake, and Brian just isn't sure of anything anymore. Enter Freddie ~~Mercury~~ Bulsara.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [ this lovely song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2jj1_jXDnhI&index=125&list=PLTojSTbU6a21telNa7Twi4YA1JLQdREXQ) because I love it and more people need to listen to it. The fact Freddie supposedly wrote it for Brian makes it even better. ❤️

Brian looked down at the magazine between his hands and read the same line of text for the third time in as many minutes. He was having a hard time focusing on the article, which made no sense at all because it was rather interesting, and even more so with the flat being strangely quiet tonight. Roger was out on a date and while Fred was here with him he was keeping to himself. Mostly.

He turned his attention to where the other man sat on the sofa humming softly as he painted his nails. Brian closed his eyes as he listened, but couldn't place the tune. Probably some new song Fred was working on.

Brian gave up on reading, closing the magazine and placing it aside.

The silence eventually became too much for Brian, left alone with his unpleasant thoughts.

"Do you think we can make it?"

"Huh?" The distracted response was totally at odds with the focused look on Freddie’s face as he finished applying a layer of black nail polish on the hand resting on his knee.

Only he would pay more attention to his nails than the person in the room with him, Brian thought wryly.

"You really think we can be different from all the other blokes waiting for an opportunity for years? That we can be more than just some band playing at pubs and colleges?"

Freddie looked at him then, a smile curling his lips. "Oh, but we are, darling. Different. Better. We have the talent, naturally, but also the flair and style to make it work. That and we're all too bloody stubborn to quit."

Brian snorted at the understatement. He had never met anyone as bullheaded as Rog and Fred, and Brian knew he could be just as bad as them.

"Besides, we're not going to wait for anything. We're going to fight for it, darling, and we're going to fight dirty if we have to."

It was hard to keep from smiling when hearing Fred's conviction and passion, but still, Brian couldn't help but point out, "We don't even have a bass player."

"Don't you even worry about that," He said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "I have no doubt the right person will appear very soon."

Brian certainly hoped that was true. It had been a difficult year, having to adjust to playing with someone new only to have them quit just months later. Watching as each bass player struggled to adapt to the band made him marvel on the easy and smooth way Fred had fit right in with him and Rog. Of course, Freddie was around for months before Tim left, so he already had the experience of knowing how they worked together.

Was that what they needed? Get friendly with a bunch of fellas who played bass and hope one of them may fit in the group down the road?

Sometimes, he wondered if it was all worth it; if maybe they should save themselves the trouble and just forget about the band. Continue playing for small audiences in pubs and colleges was good, but it wasn't what they wanted, what they needed. And they couldn't even do that now without a bass player.

Maybe his father was right and he should focus on his studies instead of kept dreaming. Being in a band wasn't a real career.

Brian had a feeling Freddie and Roger wouldn't leave him quit so easily, though. And he didn't want to quit either if he was honest with himself. He hadn't even wanted to stop when they were left without a singer after Tim left the band, and he certainly didn't want to do it now.

Today was just one of those days.

He had to listen as his father tried to convince him one more time to forget about the band, his disappointment filling Brian with an already familiar sense of guilt and dread. Things hadn't gotten better when he stopped for a drink on his way to the flat. He had been sitting at the counter, hunched over a napkin as he wrote with a borrowed pen when the bloke next to him spilled his pint.

Needless to say, the song he had been writing on that napkin was lost now.

"Bri? What brought this one, darling?"

Brian shrugged. He wasn't in the mood to speak about any of it.

"Come on here," Freddie called, patting the empty seat at his side when Brian looked at him.

He hesitated only for a second before getting up from where he was on the floor and moving to sit on the sofa with Fred.

"Black or white?"

He blinked, looking at the little glass bottles the other man was holding up. "I don't think-"

"Oh, shush, you. I'm going to paint your nails while you just sit here and relax."

Brian let his shoulders drop a little. "White."

Freddie shot him a grin, pushing the black nail polish aside. "Oh! We should put some music, don't you think?" He was out of his seat and moving toward the radio kept on the little table by the window before Brian could say anything.

"I know how much you love to hear me sing, darling, but even I need to rest sometimes," He called over his shoulder.

Freddie turned on the radio and fiddled with the knob for a moment, stopping as soon as the familiar notes of a Zeppelin song sounded. When Brian turned he found the other man moving and swaying slightly to the beat of the music. Fred always had a hard time staying still when there was good music.

"Alright! We can start now."

Freddie's flamboyance put a real smile on Brian's face, just like it always did. It was impossible not to have a positive reaction to the man's natural charm, even when it was deliberately used like now.

He said nothing as Fred flopped back on the sofa and reached for his right hand, his dark eyes sharp as he examined his fingernails.

"You have very nice nails," Freddie complimented as ran his thumb over the recently trimmed fingernails.

"Thanks," He said hesitantly. This was the first time he received a compliment like that and he wasn't quite sure what the right response should be. And this was Fred. He was probably just teasing him. The wink Brian received in response didn't help either.

They didn't speak as Freddie started doing whatever it was you had to do before applying the nail polish, putting in such menial task the same dedication and perfectionism he put to anything he did. At that moment, it was impossible to believe they could fail.

They were going to make it. Freddie and Roger and he, and whoever else joined the band. They had to, with Freddie's beautiful voice and eccentricities, and Roger's innate talent and charm. And whatever he was able to contribute to the group as well.

Giving up wasn't an option, and neither was failure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... and that's how the [ white fingernails/black fingernails](https://flirtymercury.tumblr.com/post/155160273077/apparently-queen-fans-used-to-choose-one-hand-and) thing was born ;) I knew before I saw the gifs that Brian and Freddie painted his nails white and black respectively, but I had no idea this was a thing with the fans back then and I love it! 
> 
> I'm not gonna lie, it feels a little weird to write real people fanfic, but this idea popped up in my head after seeing the movie and re-watching some old documentaries too, and since it's pretty simple I decided to write and share it here. So, I hope you enjoyed it and pelase let me know what you thought!
> 
> Also, I feel the need to point out I'm not a native speaker and my English accent is pretty much non-existent, so sorry about any mistakes. Please do feel free to share any tips or corrections!


	2. Doing All Right || Freddie & Tim

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim is leaving Smile, but there is a conversation he needs to have before making it official.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter follows real live events rather than the movie, but the gist of it is that Tim and Freddie met while they attended Ealing Art College together, and Tim introduced him to Brian and Roger. So, Freddie was a fan of Smile and friends with all three of them by the time Tim left. The rest is just fiction. 😉
> 
> The chapter title is, of course, from [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqP8xLF3TE4&list=PLTojSTbU6a21telNa7Twi4YA1JLQdREXQ&index=2) by Queen and co-written with Tim Staffell.

Tim was already waiting in the little tea room for quite a while by the time the other man arrived. It would have been surprising if Freddie managed to arrive on time for once.

The fact Freddie never failed to draw at least a couple of looks everywhere he went would never stop fascinating him. Perhaps it was his foreign features, or the outrageous clothes and light make up he liked to wear. Maybe it was a mix of both or something else entirely. Something that couldn't be put into words.

Or maybe Tim was just overthinking it. People were curious creatures by nature and it was that curiosity what made them look any time someone new entered a place.

Freddie's eyes found him straight away and a moment later the man was at his side, leaning forward to kiss his cheek.

"Hello, dear."

"Hey, Fred. Thanks for coming."

"Don't worry about it," He dismissed, putting his little rucksack on the floor before sitting down. "You know how much I love to meet up to chat."

It was until they settled down with their cups of hot tea and crumpets that the conversation picked up again.

"So, what's going on?" Freddie asked, settling his cup back on the saucer and leaning forward. "It sounded like there was something important you wanted to talk about."

Tim took a deep breath. It was better to just get it over with. "I'm leaving Smile."

 _"What!? No!"_ The looks they received made Tim grin while his companion ducked his head, a blush covering his cheeks. Freddie cleared his throat and continued in a low tone. "I mean, why? What happened? Did you have another fight?" He asked, continuing before Tim had a chance to reply. "It was probably over something silly and I have no doubt you guys can work it out. You always do."

"There's another band."

"Oh."

He saw Freddie's shoulders sag with that little word. It was no secret how much Freddie loved Smile, so the reaction wasn't exactly unexpected. Sometimes, Tim felt Freddie cared more about the band than any of them did, which was probably one of the reasons he was leaving.

How did they expect to make it big if they didn't care to do their bloody best to get there?

"You know I love Brian and Roger, and playing together is great fun, but I'm- I don't think the band is going anywhere." It was something Tim had been thinking for a while but hadn't admitted to himself until now. "I need to start thinking of myself."

"Are you sure about this?"

Tim sipped at his tea to give himself time to answer because no, he wasn't sure, but he couldn't say that. Freddie would take it as an invitation to try (and probably succeed) at changing his mind and that was the last thing he needed. It already took him months to make a decision.

"I'm sure this is a great opportunity, and I'm sure I have to give it a try."

Freddie nodded listlessly, tapping his fingers on the table. "Do Bri and Rog know?"

"Not yet," He admitted. "I'm meeting them tonight."

A grimace crossed Freddie's face and Tim couldn't hold back a rueful smile. Yes, he was well aware it was going to be an awful night and he wasn't ready. It was a tough choice, picking between a pub with all the alcohol they may need or the privacy of his own tiny flat for the meeting tonight. Not that any choice would truly help in the end.

They went back to their lukewarm tea and forgotten crumpets, the silence growing thicker with every minute that passed.

"Hey! Maybe you could fill in for me." The words got Freddie to look up, brow furrowed. "You can join Smile."

"Me?"

"Sure! You sing and get along well with Brian and Roger. Besides, you're practically already a member of the band." Tim hoped that last part didn't sound even a little bitter. He liked Freddie, he truly did, but sometimes it was easier to like him when it was just the two of them like now, or they were at the pub or some random party. 

Being with Roger and Brian usually meant Smile business and Freddie had opinions about anything and everything, and while Tim normally liked hearing what he thought, he was always left wondering whether Smile was his band or Freddie's. It didn't help that Roger and Brian tended to agree with Freddie most of the time.

"Don't be ridiculous, darling. Bri, Rog, and you are the band. I'm merely a music enthusiast and who appreciates you and like throwing ideas around."

"And how do you feel about being an official part of the band now?"

"Oh. I don't know," Freddie murmured as he fiddled with his teacup. "I don't think that would be such a good idea."

It was Tim's turn to frown. "Why not?"

"Well, dear, we don't even know if they will want to keep playing after you leave," He said gently. "And besides, you know I'm doing my own thing."

He decided to ignore the first part because it wasn't something he wanted to think about, and instead focused on the rest. "You told me Sour Milk Sea was just a bit of fun. That the other blokes didn't want anything serious."

Freddie bit lip, lifting a hand to cover his mouth a second later.

That was not the reaction Tim had expected. While it was nice Freddie didn't jump at the chance to take his place in the band (even if he was leaving willingly), he hadn't thought there would be such resistance to the idea, especially when he was pretty much giving Freddie his blessing to take his place.

"Come on! You've sang with them during rehearsals, and don't tell me you've never imagined yourself in my place while you saw us on stage." The guilty look that crossed Freddie's face was answer enough, but it also told Tim that hadn't been the right thing to say. "Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. I know how bloody talented they are."

 _Then why are you leaving them?_ The question was clear on Freddie's face, but Tim was grateful he didn't voice it because that was something he had no answer for.

"I don't even play bass."

"So you guys will have to look for a bass player," Tim said with a shrug. "Easy."

"Will you talk to them about it?" Freddie asked tentatively.

"I don't think they'll give a damn about anything I say once they know I'm leaving, so I'm afraid it's all on you, mate." Tim's smile was strained as he spoke. He was well aware of what he was losing with this decision, but he was willing to risk it for the opportunity that had presented.

"You shouldn't worry so much, dear," Freddie comforted, gently patting Tim's hand. "It may take Bri and Rog a little while, but they will forgive you and you'll go back to being friends."

Tim's smile was more genuine this time as he met his friend's warm eyes. "I hope so."

"It's going to happen, I promise. Now," Freddie started, perking up a little as he leaned back in his seat. "Tell me what's the name of this new band you're joining."

"Humpy Bong." The arched eyebrow he received in answer made Tim add, "They already had the name picked out."

"I guess the name isn't that important if the band is good," Freddie offered with a hesitant smile. Tim wasn't fooled Freddie believed that even for a second, but he appreciated the words nevertheless.

"I think so, yes," Tim said with a nod, feeling more relaxed now that they left Smile behind. "Actually, you already know someone else from the band."

"Do I?"

"Yeah. Jonathan Kelly. Smile played with him a few months ago."

"Oh, I remember him. Nice fellow. Very talented."

"He is, and they've got big plans for the band. We're already talking about recording a couple of tracks as soon as we've had a bit of time to practice together."

"Do I get an invitation to one of those practices?" Freddie asked after taking one last drink of tea.

"Of course! I want to hear what you think." Tim meant it. He only hoped Freddie wouldn't get as involved with this new band as he did with Smile.

"I will be sure to take notes, then, dear."

Tim rolled his eyes good-natured before reaching for one of the crumpets. "What about Smile?" He asked as soon as he finished chewing.

The smile slipped off Freddie's face in a second, making Tim feel guilty for bringing the matter up again. Except he was sure this was something Freddie wanted. Tim had noticed the look on his face during the band's practices; the longing in his eyes when he saw them on stage. That and being able to keep playing with someone else may make it easier for Brian and Roger to forgive him for leaving. Hopefully.

"Do you really think we could be good together?" Freddie asked quietly.

"I do," Tim replied without hesitation. "You've got the talent, Fred. You just need to keep practicing, and having a pair of great musicians at your side will help you a lot."

"I'll talk to them," Freddie promised after a moment of hesitation.

Tim knew it was selfish to not want to see Smile disappear when he was the one leaving, but that didn't change how he felt. Besides, he knew it would be good for Roger and Brian to have Freddie close and, really, if they were going to replace him he'd rather it was Freddie instead of some random bloke.

That and he was sure Freddie would ensure they didn't do anything foolish like stop playing. They were too bloody good for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I changed the name of the fic once again, using this time [what was Freddie's original farewell song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEhYFnwTciQ&list=PLTojSTbU6a21telNa7Twi4YA1JLQdREXQ&index=157&t=0s) which I think fits quite well with this now that is more than an one-shot. Also, thank you for the comments and kudos in the previous one!
> 
> As for this chapter, I think most of the fics I've come across portray Tim Staffell as an asshole or worse and while I know it's all fiction it seems kind of unfair. That's why when this idea popped up in my head I decided to give it a go. I'm like, 99% sure this isn't the way things went, but I found the idea quite interesting and I haven't seen any fics approaching it like this, I went for it. Let me know what you think!
> 
> And yes, I do have some ideas for a couple more chapters so we'll see how that goes. 😊


	3. Rain Must Fall || Brian & Freddie & John

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a successful gig with their new bass player, the band decides to hang around for a few drinks in celebration. Things don't quite go according to plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [ this cute underrated song.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qsunFw7K2ng&list=PLTojSTbU6a21telNa7Twi4YA1JLQdREXQ&index=153)
> 
> Also, I forgot to warn for homophobic language and behavior in this chapter. Sorry!

Brian was still riding out the high of a successful gig long after they got off the stage and all the equipment was packed away in their rented van. The rest of the band were in a similar state and so they decided to stay behind to share a few beers- not that they ever needed an excuse for a night out.

It was far from a perfect show; they would gather tomorrow to go over all the things they needed to work on to improve their performance (Brian could think of a few things off the top of his head, and the list would continue to grow) but tonight they could bask in the glory of the small crowd cheering them on, and the way they responded to Fred and their songs.

All in all, it was their best gig so far, and they were only getting started.

By now, Roger had let himself be dragged away by a group of young and beautiful ladies vying for the drummer’s attention, and Fred had gone to grab another round, so it was just Brian and John at the table. John Deacon, the band's latest bass player.

John- Deaky, as his friends called him, had been with them for close to four months now and things were looking promising. Some could think him ill-fitted to be part of a rock band with his shy and humble personality (even Brian was guilty of that himself, at least in the beginning), but it was impossible to give a damn about that as soon as you heard him play.

He was a fantastic musician, with great instincts and a sharp mind, offering a fresh perspective that only served to make their music richer.

Though undeniable, John's talent wasn't the sole reason for his permanence in the group. Perhaps even more important was the longed-for balance between musical talent and the chemistry with the other members. Freddie took the younger man under his wing from the moment he was welcomed into the group and Roger and Brian soon found themselves getting along with Deaky as well.

It may have been the drummer and guitarist who invited John to the audition, but nobody could deny the immediate click he had with Freddie.

His engineering studies and the self-made amp he brought along to the audition certainly helped as well.

Brian finished his beer before finding his eyes wandering once again, moving in the direction of a lovely brunette sitting a few tables away. He was unable to ignore her for long ever since Roger pointed out she kept looking in his direction. Brian averted his eyes as soon as their gazes met, the dim lights hopefully hiding his flushed face.

Chrissie wasn't here tonight, but that didn't mean he was free to look at someone else.

He fidgeted with his napkin for a moment before turning his attention back to the man at his side. Deaky was good and safe- except his attention was somewhere else too. The sour expression on his face made Brian frown as he followed his gaze.

Brian spotted Freddie among the crowd in a second and immediately understood John's reaction. The tense set of the singer's shoulders was telling enough, and the two blokes strange blocking his path only made it clearer.

His eyes met John's for a brief moment and then they were moving without a single word exchanged.

Freddie noticed them first, his pale face and uneasy gaze welcoming their intervention while the stubborn set of his jaw announced he could very well handle this on his own. Brave and bold yet vulnerable. Just Freddie being Freddie.

It didn't make his bandmates hesitate. They reached him a moment later, instinctively moving to stand at their friend's side. Freddie didn't look at them, the grip on the two pints he was holding tightening as he held them close to his body.

To Brian's surprise, it was John who spoke first, sparing only a quick glance to the two stranger blokes before turning to Freddie.

"Hey, Fred. Everything okay?"

Before Freddie could reply, one of the men spoke up.

"Hey, look at that. The other two fairies came too," The taller man sneered. "Where's the blond one? I bet he's out there getting fucked by some tosser who thought he really was a woman."

"Why, you blood-"

"Do you have a problem with us?" Brian demanded, cutting Freddie off before he could escalate further the conflict, no matter how much he wanted to do the same thing. It was his job to keep a cool head.

"Do I have a problem with you?" The man repeated in a mocking tone. "Of course I bloody well do, you wanker! Who wouldn't have a problem with you freaks dressing like girls and parading around with your stupid music."

The shouts drew the attention of some of the people around them, but nobody made any attempt to interfere. Most looked away quickly enough, while a few continued watching as the scene unfolded.

As a general rule, Brian wasn't one to get into fights. He didn't see the point of using his fists to prove something when he could very well use his words. That wasn't to say he never felt the urge to punch someone in the face, just like now, but he had plenty of practice ignoring impulses such as these.

He was usually in charge of breaking up fights or stopped them before they could begin, which was a necessity with friends like Freddie and Roger who never hesitated to get involved in all sorts of trouble.

Brian risked a look in the direction of the band's newest addition. John was standing very close to Freddie, silently offering support as well as seeking it. He looked understandably nervous and scared but didn't seem seconds away from running off, so that was good enough. Between Fred's boxing experience and the two of them, Brian was sure they could at least hold their own if needed.

But that didn't mean it was going to be pleasant.

It was Freddie who broke the silence. Of course he was. His sharp tongue was a dangerous weapon in its own right.

"Oh. You don't like our music, then? That's terrible, truly. Now, if you excuse us, we must be on our way. Right, boys?"

Brian could only blink back as he tried to recall the last time someone insulted their music without having Fred immediately strike back. He could sometimes laugh away or ignore an insult against his persona, but an insult against the band or their talent was always answered. Always.

Freddie nudged John gently with his elbow before shooting Brian a quick glance. A second later they were walking close together, senses still on high alert.

There was an amused snort behind them. "Yeah! You better crawl back into whatever hole you came out of freaks!"

"Fucking fags."

Freddie paused on his steps, making Brian and John do the same. Brian saw him close his eyes and take a deep breath before moving forward, ignoring the insults.

The two pints Freddie had been holding the whole time were put down as soon as they reached their table. They occupied their seats again, the silence settling around them anything but comfortable.

"You okay, Freddie?" John asked softly.

Freddie met his gaze just for a second but kept his eyes on John's face as a smile spread across his face. "Of course, darling. You don't think I will let a pair of sodding idiots ruin our night, do you?"

He saw a tentative smile appear on John's face, his small frame relaxing just a tad, but Brian knew Freddie far too well to believe his reassurances. John didn't know him well enough yet to notice the lingering anger and the shame lurking under the surface. The guilt. Only someone who had been allowed a peek under the carefully constructed facade could see it-

But Brian was reminded yet again John was different.

Their gazes met while Freddie was busy drowning half of his pint, and Brian could see awareness in the deep green eyes. Perhaps John didn't fully understand what was wrong, but in spite of Freddie's words, he knew something wasn't quite right.

He said nothing, though. Perhaps he trusted Brian to know the best way to handle the situation.

John wanted to protect Freddie just like Freddie had protected him, even if he may not know it. Because Brian knew the reason Freddie chose to walk away just now was John. He thought of their new bass player rather than himself or the band. It was because of John that he ignored the insults rather than risk a fight.

Brian felt his expression soften at the thought. It was easy to overlook Fred's big and caring heart with all of his eccentricities and overall chipper personality, but a reminder was always appreciated.

John took a sip from his still half-full beer, while Brian reached for the untouched pint.

"Thank god Rog didn't see any of that or we'll be out on the street by now," Freddie commented wryly, looking more like himself once again.

The notion that not only would they had been kicked out of the pub, but that any possibility of playing here again would be gone as well had been the farthest thing from Brian's mind until now. And while he was grateful that didn't happen, the truth was he wouldn't have minded Roger's intervention, even if it meant losing the venue. Not for Freddie.

The four of them and their well being would always be more important than any gig or the band, and Brian silently vowed to ensure it would stay that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the angst, but I hope you liked seeing the boys protecting each other. Also, I'm not too sure about how I wrote John but I hope I did alright.
> 
> Thank you for the comments and kudos in the last two chapters! I'm glad to know people are enjoying this and please do continue letting me know what you think! 😊


	4. Heaven For Everyone || Roger & Freddie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some problems cannot be solved, but a quiet night in and the company and support of someone you love can be enough sometimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from [ this beautiful song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yI8lrvKLzg0&list=PLTojSTbU6a21telNa7Twi4YA1JLQdREXQ&index=180), orginally from [The Cross.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G7oCFCDR4NA)

Roger took one more glance at his reflection in the mirror, making sure his messy hair looked _good_ before grabbing his jacket as he left his bedroom. Freddie already declined the invitation to go out with him tonight, but he stopped by his room to ask again just in case.

He froze with his hand poised to knock when he heard what sounded suspiciously like a sniff coming from the other side. He dropped his jacket on the floor and rapped his knuckles against the thin door, opening it and poking his head inside without waiting for a response. "Everything okay, Fred?"

Freddie hastily cleaned the tears away with the back of his hand before looking up with a smile. "Of course, darling. You're heading out now?"

Roger ignored the question, arching an eyebrow. "Wanna try again?"

The man on the bed huffed, looking down. "Don't mind me, dear. I'm just being ridiculous."

Roger wanted to demand what was wrong and not stop until he had an answer, but he knew that wasn't what his friend needed right now. Instead, he entered the room and sat at Freddie's side, wrapping the older man in his arms without a word. He felt Freddie's quivering sigh against his neck as his hands held on tightly, making him worry even more.

He knew what Freddie being ridiculous looked like and this wasn't it at all.

They stayed like that for a long moment, with Roger carding his fingers through the soft dark hair as Freddie rested his cheek on his shoulder and hugged him close. They remained silent, taking comfort in each other as the minutes passed. All the while, Roger's mind raced to try and figure out what was wrong.

It was Freddie who pulled away first, planting a kiss on the blond's check as he did. Roger took one of his hands and gave it a gentle squeeze, earning a brief but honest smile in return.

"I'll be right back," Freddie said softly, not quite meeting Roger's eyes as he got off the bed.

Roger watched him go, wondering yet again what the hell caused the breakdown. Freddie seemed fine when he arrived at the flat early, and though it didn't often happen, it wasn't exactly unusual for him to go straight to his room sometimes. Still, Roger berated himself for not realizing sooner something was wrong.

He would have noticed if only he had looked away from his book for more than two seconds. Freddie was more important than whatever stupid test he had to study for anyway.

"You don't need to worry so much, Rog." The soft words made him look up to see Freddie standing in the doorway, Roger's jacket draped over his arm. "I'm quite alright."

"Shut up. I can worry if I want to," Roger grumbled.

Freddie smiled openly as he walked closer, putting the jacket on the bed and ruffling Roger's hair before reclaiming his place at his side. His eyes were still red and puffy, but he looked a little better after splashing cold water on his face and taking a moment to compose himself.

"Now, why don't you tell me what happened and I'll tell you if you were being ridiculous or not."

"It was nothing, really."

Roger didn't believe that, of course, and made sure his expression showed exactly that.

Freddie met his gaze for a moment before letting out a sigh as he rested his head on the blond's shoulder. "You're not going to leave this go, are you?"

"I think you know the answer to that, mate."

He sighed. "Let's just say I had an unpleasant encounter with a couple of blokes eager to make their bigoted opinions heard."

"Who was it? What did they say?" Roger demanded, ready to go beat up any asshole who dared insult Freddie. It wouldn't be the first time, no matter how much Brian tried to get him to stop and Freddie insisted it wasn't necessary.

"It doesn't matter, dear," Freddie murmured, patting his knee. "Those kinds of people are hardly original, so it was nothing I haven't heard before."

He stayed silent, still seething in anger. The fact it was a common occurrence didn't make it alright, and even if Freddie could usually ignore or laugh the insults away, that didn't mean he should have to, or that their poisonous words didn't affect him.

Freddie took his clenched fist and gently uncurled his fingers, before clasping their hands together.

"It's fine, really. I would have ignored it like always but I guess today is one of those days," Freddie explained with a shrug.

Roger studied his friend for a moment, at least until he turned his face away. "There's something else, isn't it?"

He saw the second Freddie pulled away. It wasn't a physical thing, but he noticed it anyway. Freddie could be the most open and easygoing person until the second he wasn't anymore, and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.

"The visit I made to my parents," Freddie admitted quietly. "It- it didn't go as well as I hoped. Nothing happened, really. My mother was lovely as usual and so was Kash. My father was- he was happy to see me, I know that and he was kind and polite but I- I can tell he's still waiting. It's been over twenty years, and he's still waiting for me to change. To stop being wild and unruly and become the proper son he wants me to be."

The words were precise and detached; something Freddie had been told or had heard before.

Roger knew Freddie's relationship with his father was complicated even if they had never spoken about it. It was just bits and pieces Roger had put together from random comments or reactions. He wondered whether having a father who loved you _but_ couldn't quite accept who you were hurt less than having your father outrightly dislike you or having nothing at all. Not that it matters anyway.

"My life would be so much easier if I could just be normal," Freddie muttered, covering his eyes with a hand.

"Bullshit! You're perfect the way you are, Fred. Never let anyone tell you otherwise." Roger snarled. "Normal is boring anyway. Fuck normal."

Freddie blinked a couple of times before a smile tugged at the corner of his lips. "So I'm perfect, hm? I'll be sure to remind you of that the next time you criticize my cooking."

Roger grinned, happy to see a little spark back in the familiar brown eyes. "Yeah, no. Whatever it is you do in the kitchen can't be called cooking, mate."

He waved a dismissive hand. "Shh. I'm perfect, remember?"

"Oh, piss off."

Freddie lifted one of his hands to cover his mouth as hi smiled grew and Roger forced his own grin not to waver. He hated Freddie had to be so self-conscious about his teeth on top of everything else.

"You wanna get shitfaced? We can go to that pub you like so much." They didn't go there often because it was quite far away from the flat and expensive, but they could treat themselves tonight and make up for it by cutting a bit their expenses for the next couple of weeks. They had done that before.

"Thank you, darling, but I'd rather stay in tonight."

"We can do that too," Roger agreed with a nod. "We haven't opened that cheap bottle of vodka I brought the other day and we can see if we catch anything good on the telly or something. I think there's still leftover take out from last night, right?"

"Oh, you don't have to stay, Rog. I'm alright, I promise."

Roger rolled his eyes good-natured. "I know that, but a night in sounds good to me."

Freddie eyed him skeptically. "If you're sure, dear."

"I am. Now come on," Roger ordered, patting Freddie's thigh. "Get off your arse and let's go see what we can find in the kitchen. We may have to go to the store to buy chips or something."

"I will never understand how you can look like that with all the crap you eat, darling."

"Jealous?" Roger asked, smirking over his shoulder.

"Please," Freddie scoffed. "With this gorgeous body? I don't think so, Blondie."

They shared a grin before walking out of the bedroom together, leaving Freddie's father, homophobic arseholes and everything else behind. At least for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's about time our favorite blond made an appearance! I have a special place in my heart for Roger and Freddie's friendship and I hope I did it justice with this little piece. Also, I need to point out I don't really know what Freddie's relationship with his father was like. I'm basing this solely on the movie and fandom, so I apologize if it's inaccurate. This is pure fiction and I mean no disrespect to anyone.


End file.
